$The Bottom Line$

B.A.D.

I have spoken a few times in this blog about speedbumps. I try to consider every possible roadblock as another speedbump. Some of those bumps were looking mountainous recently but, if I just think for 2 seconds, I've had a very steady stream of difficulties. The twice attempted bus ticket to Texas. The escape from Texas. The familial stuff. My exit from Courtney's resulting in my Ridge View time, not to mention trying to mentally prepare myself to be a woodland creature. Those weren't speed bumps by any stretch, but I survived them.

I am recognizing obstacles recently as their actual size. Actual sizes themselves often have speedbumps, and I am navigating those quite properly. I'm not making this place homey but I'm making it livable. I'm doing so for multiple people and, I think, probably making the act of managing 3 disabled tennants conisiberably more possible and pleasant. Pleasant. I just shake my head with that.

Albeit the long way, that needed pleasant feel was largely responsible for most of the pleasant feelings that I've had since this great “substance abuse” was discovered. I am certainly responsible for most of the losses that I have incurred. My choice has, clearly at least to me, been held responsible for far too much while it has been the only reprieve from depression that I've experienced. Avoiding depression would seem to be a necessity for just about any damaged soul. This is why medication is such a big business and why I am thankful that this substance has been more slowly implemented by pharmaceutically inclined businesses.

I do notice a negative cognitive difference when I use. I got some delta 9s and have cut those into 1/4s. The 9s cost a bit more, but the cuts should more than make up for that. Again, the pot was working to some extent that I believe was too eagerly considered as a negative. Still, I found my choice. I had to start somewhere and I was in the right area. Doctors agree. I'll say it again, Doctors agree. That particular point makes me feel just that much better about any work that I still hope to do. That feeling could lead me into doing something always suggested for but very rarely attempted by me. Fiction.

What I might tinker with is using so many of the good stories that I know, but hesitate to use for whatever reason. That reason is usually because I may have attached a lie in there or that the story itself was not powerful enough to not be boring. I am an accomplished liar, as mentioned a piece or two ago. I know a good lie when I hear one, usually because I've been the one telling it.

If this begins, I will create a new blog that uses the subtitle area to rate the “truthiness” of each post similar to tornado ratings. F would stand for fiction, with an F5 containing the most factual material. F4 would be almost completely true. F3 would be about half right. F2 would be mostly false, while an F1 would approach the status of being a fucking lie.

That idea might not go very far too quickly but could well develop into something along with my intended use of Likely Scam as something between a personal journal and maybe some kind of study of TBIs and the CBD method of recovery. The work that I hope to do in keeping Byron with me should keep my mind in the kind of place that develops positive results in multiple, maybe even unexpected things. If no results are gained, it will at least be cheaper and I have well learned these past few months that I have to watch my bottom line.

This guy that has done some cool shit and will do some cool shit!